Reflections on a Week Beyond Words

Early, early this morning, I woke up.  I suddenly had the overwhelming need to check my phone for the news.  All sorts of thoughts went through my head.  Although the suspect had been captured, I still didn't feel like the situation had finished.

I feel like that one moment sums up my experience from this week.  I've been so on edge all week that it wasn't easy to just turn that off last night.

Especially after Thursday night and Friday, and the constant barrage of news coming in.  It just didn't seem like it could just end.  So fast.  And without a whole lot of warning.

Since I posted on Tuesday, so much has happened.  So, so very much.  I'm not even sure how to put it all into words.  And who knows when this will really "end".  I'm just praying last night meant the end of the story.  That there isn't more to come besides filling in the details.

I went through so many cycles of hope and fear this week.  There were times when it was hard to hope that it was going to end soon.  And then there were times when new information came out and it seemed like it could really happen.

NES and I are far enough away from Boston that we could move freely on Friday.  However, Friday was nothing like a normal day.  Both of us had people missing from our day whether because of lockdowns or because of connections to the victims.  It just couldn't feel normal.

And then there was the news.  Whether we were listening on the radio or watching tweets come in on our phones, there was the news.  Everywhere.  Even an hour in class without information felt like a major disconnect from reality.

Not having cable, we actually didn't watch much of the TV coverage.  I kind of consider myself fortunate to have missed it.  I heard all the news, and I didn't get bombarded with the images.  Maybe that means I missed out on some of the information I "should" have had, but at the same time, I missed all the overwhelming images of blood and fear.  I never thought of myself as one of those people who didn't feel the need for TV, and I do enjoy watching TV shows and movies, but I've gained a new appreciation for the radio.

And then last night, it all ended.  That was pretty much the only part that NES and I watched on TV.  The very end.

I am so thankful to God that they finally found him.  I am so thankful to all of the Boston police, firefighters, Massachusetts police, police from other states, National Guard, FBI and all the law enforcement who were here working ceaselessly to find this man for almost a full day.  I am thankful for all the reporters who kept us up to date.  I am thankful to be in a country and time when we have the technology to find them so quickly.

My heart breaks for all the families and friends of the victims.  I can't even imagine losing someone in this way.  I can't even imagine the pain.

My heart also breaks for the families and friends of victims in Texas, and the whole town of West.  So much pain.

This week, as scary as it was, and as much as it was horrible, was just more of a reminder to me that God is in control.  That he is still bigger than anything that can happen in this world.  That there is hope for our future, and there is healing.


Popular Posts